Last night, Diana, Lora, Joanna, Vivian, Gail, Brian and I got together to have a belated Eurovision party. Lately I've become completely enthralled with Eurovision, after
seeing Verka Serduchka's 2007 performance of Danzing. The Ukraine was scandelized by the fact that they were being represented by a drag queen in what the whole of Europe considers a very prestigious competition. The joke's on them. She scored second place.In case disco headdresses arn't your thing, check Switzerland's 2007 entry by DJ Bobo (Vampires Are Alive), an epic balland worthy of Dance Dance Revolution.
With this level of camp usually only seen during Halloween in the Castro, I was out of my skin with excitement for Eurovision 2009. I was not dissapointed.
The night started with Greece. How that man jumps so high in those tight, tight white pants or inexplicably rips his shirt, I'll never know.
Here's Portugal. If I could wake every morning with this adorable woman singing to me that would be grand. Though the Super Nintento Mario World visuals might send me into involuntary convulsions if left on too long.
When Diana first told me about Azerbaijan I told her she couldn't just make up countries for fun (three cheers for public school!). And though I still don't know where it is, what it's people are like, and is far from being always on my mind, I do know that Azerbaijan has a fondness for ice skating outfits, gold chaps, acrobats and Carnival Cruise uniforms.
Oh Finland, Finland, Finland. Rap techno? Really?
If Shakira's hips don't lie, Turkey might have a few skeletons in the closet. However, I did quite like the bouncing bondaged boy in the flowing green skirt.
I really expected more from Germany. Even with Alex C., a throwback to Cab Calloway and an appearance from Dita Von Teese, they fell short. I would, however, like to keep those USO dancers around as cigarette girls for my next party.I never knew Moldova was hiding a long lost Sailor Scout, but I'm very glad she's been found, alive and safe, with thighs that could kick through a concrete wall.
Armenia brought it old school. As you know anything actually considered 'old' in Europe is about 500 years older than what Americans old. This is what I imagine Lysa Arryn wears when she hurls people out of the Moon Door to their frozen shreiking deaths. If only Lysa Arryn could do it with back up dancers.
The Ukraine really wanted this one. Badly. Between a matching set of illicit space trojans sent to Earth to be the disco slaves of Charo, reincarnated as a sex gymnast stripper when she's done playing in her hamster wheel and ready for her drum solo I'm kind of surprised they didn't.
Who knew Zac Efron and Daniel Radcliffe had a lovechild? Alexander Rybak, of Norway won the whole thing this year with a song called fairytale. I'm sure, for weeks, the song will be stuck in my head as i daydream about his back up dancers do leap frogging push ups in an homage to the disembodied head from Spirited Away.
